Trying Again + Miscarriage
Updated: Nov 6, 2018
(I wrote this 1.5 years after our miscarriage.)
When is the best time to have a baby after a miscarriage?
I'm' about to reveal my heart, y'all.
We get the question, "Are you still trying?" all the time.
1. People are afraid to ask, but still think it. 2. People ask, and for me, it's okay. 3. There is no protocol or time-frame.
Some women start trying right away. Some women try later. Some women don't want to try ever again.
To each their own.
I'm going to share my story with you. I'm going to get real with you.
My heart is beating. My mind is racing.
But. I need to share.
When Erik and I first decided to try, we were super nervous and scared.
But, God seriously gave us so much peace.
We had a miscarriage. It rocked my world.
We stopped talking about trying.
I didn't even want to think about that.
I wanted to take time.
Heal. Process. Understand.
We haven't talked about it.
Last night, we started talking about it again.
We are scared.
I think we are scared for different reasons. It's bringing a familiar sting back to my heart.
1. It's okay to move on after heartache and pain. 2. You don't have to live in those places. 3. Moving on doesn't mean you forget. 4. You will still face heartache and pain.
The thought of trying actually makes my eyes well up.
It's making me relive the time before our miscarriage (the excitement, joy, nervousness) to when we had our miscarriage (pain, sorrow, mourning).
We are seeking out God in prayer. We are leaning on each other.
We are really starting to process and consider (with prayer), to start taking the next steps of bringing a baby into our family.
For most, it's such an exciting time.
For me, it's very painful, but I don't have to live in that pain.
I'm confronting it, being real with it, and allowing myself to feel it and still move forward.
I can't hold back from sharing because SO MANY of you have come to me about your miscarriages.
AND, I don't feel like this process (before, during, after) is ever talked about.
I've got you.