Front Row Seat: Current "Caution"
We are moving in faith. We aren't moving in false expectations. Yes, we do have "cautious" thoughts. Erik and I talk about it all the time. We also have sought out others who have walked this path for advice and encouragement.
For us, we have found it helpful to really talk things over. We don't live in the fear, we just dial it down.
The biggest thing I keep saying is "my ego can take the hit." I can handle that. This isn't about us. This is about what is best for our (soon-to-be, prayed-for child) that I trust we will meet soon.
This whole idea of "not getting our hopes up" isn't a reality for me. I tried that in pregnancy and I've experienced grief like never before. Our hope is huge, even through heartache and disappointment. We aren't just going forward with this because we think it's not going to break our hearts in anyway.
My heart is already breaking for the family that's going to choose us. I hurt for them. I also understand that this dynamic is going to look different than it does with Faye. We are going to pray about that and continue to press into that.
There are certain unknowns and fears. I'm thankful for supportive people who have walked before us. You don't want to believe people will use you, but you can't walk into this without having your eyes opened. There are people who take advantage of those seeking Open Adoption. You don't want to believe that's true, but it is. It's happened to people.
It's called "Adoption Scam."
False promises. Financial gain.
But I have to tell you, there are two sides to this.
There are adoptive families when "courting"phase without following through.
Either way, it's something we've explored, just to be aware of. Here's an example of a resource that talks about this. It's real. It's messy, I'm sure. And I can only imagine it's devastating. If you have any insights or personal experiences with this, we are so open to hearing what you have to say. Also, if you have any great support groups that were/have been so helpful to you.
Also, there's the chance that the birthmother changes her mind. We will continue to support the attitude of "whatever is best for this child." That is what we believe and we aren't trying to avoid heartbreak. Right now, the only thing we can focus on is sharing our story to connect to the family who chooses us. Chooses us to take the greatest of care of their precious child. We believe we are the ones to do that and we will continue to stand in hope and faith.
We want Open Adoption. We want the family to have a front row seat (again, to what's best for the child). For my family, that front row seat was through email. And those emails were everything. We will navigate what that looks like and what is best for that family and child.
But for now, that's where we stand.
Again, we are using social meida as our way of getting connected. Thank you for SHARING our story. You are helping us. We appreciate it.
We are rooted in knowing this is the path for us.
We are the family to help that family make the best decision for their child.
We are the ones.
We know it.