Front Row Seat: Parenting Style
My SIL & BIL sent us the most amazing card with this sticker in it. It's the symbol for adoption. Once we get connected to the family we are meant to do this with and we have our child in our arms, this is going to be my next tattoo.
Who knows, maybe Erik will get one too! Ha! During this waiting stage, your messages, cards, notes, texts, questions, well wishes and love has been so encouraging. Thank you for SHARING our story.
"We can't wait for there to be a new Condia cousin when you all match with the family God has in mind... This symbol for adoption represents the adoptive parents and birth parents and the adoptive parents and child. You guys already embody that so well and this child will be so loved. Faye, you' are going to be the best big sister."
This support means everything. We are so thankful for our family/siblings/friends who are walking this next to us!
You can share our BLOG, our social media posts, etc. Doing that is going to help us get connected to the family we are meant to do this with.
As we are preparing for a home study, I'm going to be sharing with you common questions that could be asked during the visit(s). Our BLOG is here.
QUESTION TWO: What is your parenting style? (See question one in this blog post.)
Erik's answer: Jesus.
I agree. He always reminds me of this. Always.
I don't know why this question is hard for me to answer. I don't know we have a set style, but I can describe how we are as parents to Faye.
I always say: I have no idea what I'm doing, but I love doing it. I love being a mom. I love watching Erik be a dad. He's the best at it. He's the number one guy to be in that spot with our family. He loves us. He's patient with us. He's so active and intentional with Faye. It's wild to me. It inspires me. His biggest fear happens to be his girls getting hungry. He doesn't want to mess with our hangry selves.
I've been humbled many times. I remember during Easter, I projected that she couldn't do something because she's so little. I told a friend Faye wouldn't need a basket because she doesn't know how to collect eggs. Faye proved to be very capable of doing that, so I find myself getting gutchecked about how I speak and act. To let her figure it out, try and not limit what's possible. Kids are so freaking resilient. It's harder on us than them sometimes, that's what I think anyway.
We are intentional, positive and present. We engage with her, but also encourage independent play. I'm the hype person and Erik is the get on the floor dad. You'll find clips in his hair because Faye asked him to wear some with her. You'll see her with her hair done because papa did it. He's the one who got rid of the bottle, nuk and whatever big milestone thing that crushed my heart. Ha. He can handle it. I'd crumble in a thousand pieces.
We have dance parties. Mainly to boy bands from the 90s. Faye loves it. We enjoy park dates, the zoo and adventures. We are the "we eat mostly healthy" but love pizza night, you know what I'm saying?
I've loved every stage with Faye, but right now has been my favorite. If you would have asked me 6 months ago, my answer would have been "right now" too. It just keeps getting more and more fun. We recently got an emotion chart. We are trying to help bring language to the way Faye is trying to communicate her feelings.
Here's the cutest story: I love greeting her eye-to-eye in the morning. I get on my knees. I say, "Faye is that you?" I open the door. She giggles. Yells for Papa. Sqeals for something in her bed for me to grab. I asked her how she was feeling and she said "I excitttttttteeeddd." She even knows the color of "excited" on her emotion chart. YELLOW.
We have come up with ways she can "help the family out" by doing some chores around the house. It's the cutest. Her jobs include taking her plate to the sink, feeding Wyatt, cleaning up her toys and throwing away her trash. We are working through "was that on purpose or accident"? Ha. It's adorable.
Erik and I are flexible, but have always had solid routines for Faye. For example, we always brush her teeth, read her books (usually the same ones for a few months and then switch to new ones), sing TWO SONGS (Jesus Loves Me and the Doxology), pray (mainly for our friends at school) and she will probably get another book out of us. She's obsessed with her Bible.
It melts our hearts into a million pieces. I just want to tell her I love her a million times a day. We have structure and routine, but you can find us having a picnic in the living room on a Friday night. We love getting her to bed at the same time each night, but if we are spending time with friends, we stretch it because we want to soak up the fun.
I know we don't always get it right. We aren't supposed to, because it's all about growing and learning. Motherhood has surprised me in many ways. The biggest way is how much I love my little girl. It's wild to me. I feel like I'm reliving life all over again through her eyes.
When she's sad, frustrated or happy. I feel it. I see it. And I admire her for how she's navigating this big world. I'm not afraid for her. I know that she is being built up and making this place better than she found it. As parents, we are on a mission to keep working on ourselves so we can be the best for her and not lose ourselves along the way.
We don't believe that it's just us bringing her up. We rely on our villiage. We have the most incredible people in our corner when it comes to this season and for that, we are so grateful. Faye is surrounded by love and support. We also Facetime our parents every single day. We don't have our immediate family living by us (besides Erik's sister/aka, my sister, who lives in SF within this last year-- which is WONDERFUL)., so calling them daily is a big deal to us. Faye has seen/chatted with her grandparents (both sets) every day since she's been born! From her first few steps, to bedtime, to adventures, you name it, we've called them so they could see! We are so blessed by the people in our lives who are walking with us as parents. It's special. It's intentional. It's everything.
Again. Parenting style is figuring it out daily. Parenting has taught us so many lessons, but more than anything, it's grown our hearts in the biggest ways. It's made life have more meaning for us. We talk about her constantly. We are obsessed with the fact that God chose us to be Faye's parents. We feel so honored. And we feel just as honored for the child we are going to be matched with. What a honor it is to know God has someone else about to walk into our lives and make it even better.
If you could share this link to your page, we'd appreciate it. Thanks for following our journey.
We feel you in our corner.