• Erik Condia


Updated: Nov 6, 2018

For those of you who don't know or you are new to following me, I had a miscarriage one year ago.

I never thought that would happen to me.

I know that it happens to 1 in 4 women, but for some reason, that number isn't one you care about until it actually happens to you.

When we found out we were pregnant, we were so excited.

JOY would be the word I would pick.

It was exciting. It was scary. It was already an adventure.

In our short time being pregnant, we were already fantasizing about our little baby.

Would he/she have a lot of hair? Probably.

It's crazy HOW QUICKLY your mind starts to race.

It was so much fun to think about.

Physically experiencing a miscarriage is heart breaking, painful, and I can't express to you the emotional roller coaster you feel DURING it.

Actually, I'm tearing up thinking about it.

You are losing You are grieving You can't do anything

to prevent it from happening.

That was devastating. That was heart-shattering.

Helpless, but not hopeless.

It's so SIGNIFICANT and important.

Others try to lessen the pain by telling you it's not meant to be, or something was wrong with the baby... even, with chilling words, "at least you can get pregnant."

For sure. Thank you for loving me. I know you don't know what to say or do, and you just want to make me feel better.


I had to suffer to heal. I had to hurt to know. I had to experience to gain empathy.


** Month 1-5 are the toughest.

Confused. Broken. Emotional. Crying.all.the.time.

It was hard for me to express how I was feeling, because of how numb I was.

I swear you see 150,000 pregnancy announcements and positive pregnancy tests EVERY WHERE.

** Month 9 is hard in a different way.

You think about your baby. You think about when he/she would be born.

Early? Late? On time?

**The ONE YEAR mark of a miscarriage-- totally freeing, for me, actually. I thought it would be tougher than it was.

But, I realized how much STRENGTH I gained in a year of grief and healing.

How much my heart stretched and exposed itself. I felt STRONGER.

There's so much healing in this journey.

You aren't alone. I am here.

We all grieve differently, but the biggest thing that helped me process through this loss, was talking about it and clinging to Jesus.

I'm here for you, friend. xoxo

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